Thoughts on Valentine’s Day… A day late

BY ONEIKA RAYMOND

My thoughts on love, relationships, and the 14th of February.

Happy belated Valentine’s Day everyone!

I spent the day in the company of my favourite German in the most gorgeous of places– the Paradisus resort in Los Cabos, Mexico (yes, Mexico!)

I’m here doing some promotional social media work for them, and you’ll hear more about it soon.

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In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

I’m writing this, however, to re-share my post on Valentine’s Day if you didn’t catch it on my Facebook or Instagram feeds.  I think it’s an important message that deems repeating here!

Here’s what I said:

While I’m blessed to have a built-in travel partner and best friend, it’s important to remember that self-love is the best love to have on this Valentine’s Day.

My husband doesn’t “complete” me, he complements me– we were “whole” people long before we knew the other existed.

We want each other, we don’t need each other. There’s a difference.

So keep on living your best, fullest life, regardless of your relationship status. If you’re looking for a partner to give you purpose in life, you’re likely not ready for a serious, lasting union.

Work on yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy. Recognize that true fulfillment is not measured in long-stemmed roses or boxes of chocolates gifted on the 14th of February. Treasure your platonic relationships, for your friends and family will be around long after the romance fades.

Stop thinking of marriage as an accomplishment and the mark of a life worth living; understand you need to love yourself first before you can love (or truly be loved) by anyone else.

And realize that your prince or princess may never come and make peace with that knowledge.

Because you are good, smart enough, and strong enough on your own.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours y’all.

What do you think? Curious to hear your thoughts on the matter!

SHARING IS CARING

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53 Comments

  • Preach! I definitely agree that you need to work out what will make you happy. You can not expect to lay that on the shoulders of someone else. We are all responsible for our own destinies. If you meet someone who shares your beliefs, dreams and thoughts on life then that is an added bonus.

    Learn to love yourself first – everything else is desert 🙂

  • I pop into your blog every now and again. I am never disappointed in your perspective. In a short, to-the-point post you just dropped the mic. on:

    1.) seeking love
    2.) seeking approval from a partner / marriage
    3.) self-worth, self-love,self-confidence etc.
    4.) marriage as an accomplishment

    Favorite two lines: “Treasure your platonic relationships, for your friends and family will be around long after the romance fades…Stop thinking of marriage as an accomplishment and the mark of a life worth living.”

    Love your writing and have enjoyed watching it evolve!

  • So true, and so nice to hear it from someone in a good relationship!

  • I too agree with everything you wrote. Love yourself first, develop your own interests and together the two of you can share interests or not. There is nothing wrong with a couple having their individual interests. But, you two still need to have interests that will keep you two together and not just children. Remember to be opened minded. Your husband is a cutie and you are too.

    A smile is like a welcoming sign; Come and talk with me. To my surprise some men were responsive, good for me.

    Good Luck Ladies.

  • I completely agree with you. I am not judging, but I’ve found that a lot of women that are caught up in this day are that way because they feel that they don’t receive attention or special treatment from their mates on a regular basis. So they look at Valentine’s Day as the one day that they know their mate will make them feel special. So I guess the men in these relationships just need to do a better job at doing those special things consistently and not just one day of the year.

    • Agree! But I think mass marketing plays a huge role in terms of conditioning us women to expect certain gifts or treatment from our partners on this day!

  • I loved this when I saw it on your facebook page!
    Yes, yes, yes to everything you said!
    I’m at a place of contentment right now, like Paul preached in the Bible..I’m content with whatever my status is at the moment, and with what it will be in the future..whether or not I will be someone’s missus!
    In addition, I’m grateful to have a lil one who is such fun company, and who is my favorite travel partner though when she decides to be Lil Miss Thang and she not down with this or that accommodation or destination, it slightly drives me up the wall! But we having fun!

  • Oh this whole Valentine’s Day thing is so weird to me… and usually I don’t like reading about it because most of what I read make me want to beat my head against the wall. But I’ve found you from Brenna’s site and this post was such a surprise. Every single word is just how I feel about it! Anyway, thanks for the first Valentine’s Day post this year that I really like. 😀 I’ll come back to your blog for sure. 🙂

  • “Understand you need to love yourself first before you can love (or truly be loved) by anyone else.” I absolutely agree. Thanks for sharing

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